True Meaning Of Accounting Words.


ACCOUNTANT:- A person who works with numbers but lacks the personality to be an economist.

BANK:- A place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. (Bob Hope)

BARGAIN:-Something you can’t use offered at a price you can’t resist. (Ned Kelly)

BROKE:-What you are after working with a financial advisor.

BUDGET:-A mathematical system designed to remind you that you can’t afford the kind of living you’ve grown accustomed to.

BULL MARKET:-A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BULL:-What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked last quarter.

CAPITALISM:-Man exploiting man, as opposed to socialism, which is the reverse.

CHARITY:-Something that begins at home, and usually stays there.

CONVENIENCE FEE:-Fee.

CREDIT:-The preferred method of acquiring money for people who are too timid to steal and too proud to beg.

DERIVATIVES:-Financial weapons of mass destruction. (Warren Buffett)

EARMARXIST:-A congressman or senator who adds earmarks to congressional bills. (American Dialect Society)

ECONOMIST:-An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

FINANCIAL PLANNER:-A person whose phone has been disconnected.

FORGER:-A person who gives checks a bad name.

HOME:-A real estate agent’s word for a house. (Robert Hirst)

INCOME TAX:-Capital punishment.

INFLATION:-A situation in which no one has enough money because everyone has too much money.

INHERITANCE:-Will-gotten gains.

LOANATION:-Money given, typically to a close relative, which the provider considers a loan and which the recipient considers a donation.

LOTTERY:-A tax on the gullible.

MARKET CORRECTION:-The event that occurs the day after you buy.

MONEY:-The most efficient labor-saving device ever invented.

POVERTY:-Having too much month left at the end of the money.

POWER:-The only narcotic regulated by the SEC rather than the FDA.

QUARTER:-A dollar, after taxes.

REPOSSESSION:-What happens if you don’t pay your exorcist.

RETIREMENT:-The point at which one stops living at work and starts working at life.

SOCIAL SECURITY:-A federally mandated pyramid scheme.

SPENDTHRIFT:-A person who considers it a sin to die rich.

TAX REFUND:-A tactic devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

TAXATION:-An art which consists of plucking the goose to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hiss. (Jean Baptiste Colbert)

VALUE INVESTING:-The art of buying low and selling lower.

NCAS

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